Wednesday, August 31, 2011

15 years of Hate

Ok so so I'm going out on a limb and telling people my story so I figured I need to tell  it all. I am a victim of multiple types of childhood abuse. It felt like such a shameful thing to me to be able to say or even type those words. I've realized lately that's exactly the problem, and that's why so many people get away with it. It's hard for me to talk about it now, even though it was about 15 years ago.
People who have not been through this kind of thing don't realize the ways that something like this can effect you. It can literally ruin your life if you let it. I decided I wouldn't be one of those people who lets it. I would never want to be the kind of person who hates anyone, so I did something I never thought I would do. I confronted this person who I've hated for years and let him know that I forgive him, even though I'll never forget.
I am in no way bragging about it. I am however sharing this because by doing this I took back the control! I think one of the biggest things that's taken away from us when this happens as a child is control and your voice. When we are children we are supposed to do what adults tell us. We don't realize as small children how terribly wrong and damaging some adults are.
Ok I'm not going to drag this out I just wanted to leave anyone who may have experienced what I did, with this one thought. Forgiveness is not to help the person who hurt you, it is necessary for you to be able to truly let what happened to you go!